Penny Wish

I threw my thoughts into the valley today,

one coin among so many ripples of light.

                                                    I sent with it my wishes on every star,

                                       in the bottom of every fountain,

                                  in the breath of every blown out candle,

                        and 64 bottles in the ocean.

               And then I followed it

      dragging my steps

  down,

 down, 

down,

all the while begging for something I wouldn’t know what to do with if I had it.

I want you to understand

that my backbone

is only made of trinkets

I’ve collected-

seashells,

and pretty rocks,

beads

and plastic dinosaurs.

And I don’t know how long its been since I’ve seen to the wear and tear on my skin,

but I’m sure there are more than a few holes                             that need patching.

I’m having trouble finding a reason to fight to the surface anymore.

Although I want to tell you, I want to tell the world I’m doing fine,

I really wish

I could just pack my things and leave

so I wouldn’t have to keep lying like this.

I threw my thoughts away

so I could have a moment of silence,

so I could remember and mourn what it was like to believe

                              climbing over the monkey bars
I was a wild thing                                                  and running 
                                                                                              between  
                                                                                      the                  
                                                                                                               swings.

You know, I never really grew up,

and I’m growing

tired of pretending I did.

I really wished

for someone to save me,

but I understand that’s really too much to ask of you

and it's unfair.

I threw my thoughts into the valley

because I’ve done everything else I can think of,

and I know I’m going to collapse from the pressure of sinking

any second,

but maybe, just maybe 

someone

could pick them up,

put them in a pocket,

and they could move on without me

among those many rivers of light.